Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Change doesn't have to be a bad thing

By Craig Ruvere
 
Since the beginning of time, humanity has always shared one thing in common – change in unavoidable.  The realization might not always be evident, but each and every day our lives are evolving in directions we never thought possible, and often the evolution is beyond our control.
 
But change tends to get a bad reputation.  Be it a relationship, a career or anything that involves making a long term commitment, change is not something we’re willing to adjust to, nor accept easily.  We develop a sense of security in our lives, and sometimes we can’t always see the benefits altering our “comfort zone” could possibly bring. 
 
The dictionary defines “change” as “to alter; to give up for something else; to change one’s intention.”  This altering can lead to great things.  And while the direct results are not always obvious, change can be just what you need – bringing your life to new heights that far surpass your current state of being.
 
But for many of us, we have trouble letting go of the past for something new.  For some it’s holding on to the 1950 Chevy we first learned to drive; for others it’s the uneasy feeling of moving from the home where our family was raised.  The truth is no matter how much our lives change and where they leads us, one thing can never be taken away – the memories that live in our hearts and minds.
 
Life is like an endless novel – each chapter representing another place and time in our lives, forever evolving.  And all it takes to ignite the feelings of the past are the sweet smell of flowers on a spring day, the soft sound of music playing in the background or the feeling of an old woolen blanket upon our skin. 
As we all get older, we start to realize how vital these memories truly can be.  They keep us company on days when we’re lonely, keep us warm when we’re feeling cold, keep us happy when we’re feeling sad. 
 
I’m sure we all have friends or family members that send countless emails designed to inspire and motivate - some even claiming riches or health if we pass them along to ten other people in the next five minutes. For the most part I tend to delete such messages before I ever read them.  But recently my wife sent me an email with a request in the subject line stating “please read” so I figured how bad could it be. 
 
I was pleasantly surprised to find this: “The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.  We have the choice to live fully each and every day. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.”
 
It takes courage and strength to fully embrace change, and so many times the results far outweigh the inconvenience.  Change is something beyond our control, and no amount of worry or stress will have any effect on the final outcome. 
 
No one is saying that change is easy, but it is a turning point in our lives. Change forces us to evaluate where our lives our going, giving us the opportunity to better not only ourselves, but the world around us.  Change is unavoidable – but it doesn’t always have to be a bad thing.
 

Friday, February 22, 2013

A Real Life Superhero

By Craig Ruvere
 
 
Growing up in the early 1980’s, I remember being fascinated by fictional superheroes that seemed to possess extraordinary magical powers and strength.
 
Some of my favorites included Batman, Spider-Man, He-Man and The Incredible Hulk to name a few. I remember spending countless hours in my basement or out in the backyard, re-enacting sequences I had seen on television with my tiny toy action figures. And when I was done playing with my molded plastic heroes, it was my turn to jump and run around as though I actually possessed some sort of super-human abilities.
 
Ah the imagination of a child certainly does run wild.
 
I guess for a shy, sensitive and overweight young boy, who was often teased at school, the life of a superhero was something I envied and held close to my heart. They were always there in my mind, like an old friend, providing me with a much needed dose of courage and strength when the bullies on the playground needed someone to taunt.
 
But I’m an adult now, and it’s been a long time since I’ve given any thought to my superhero friends from the past. That was until I came across the following headline on a popular news site.
 
The headline read simply “Fireman dresses as Spider-Man to rescue boy.”
 
The story occurred in Bangkok, and focused on a young 11-year-old boy who suffered from autism. As with any child suffering from his disorder, changes are often very difficult to adjust to. When a new school year arrived the young boy was riddled with anxiety and fear.
 
In an effort to run away from the situation at hand, he climbed out onto a third floor balcony – dangling his feet over the edge, completely unaware of the danger he was putting himself in.
 
Both his teachers and his frantic mother tried repeatedly to coax the young boy back inside unsuccessfully. This prompted a call to local firefighter, Somchai Yoosabai.
 
“He was nervous about the first day at school, and he was asking for his mother,” Somchai said. “He cried and refused to let any of us get close to him.”
 
Thankfully Somchai overheard a conversation between the boy’s mother and his teachers saying how much he loved superheroes - especially Spider-Man. It was at that moment when Somchai remembered he kept a Spider-Man costume back at the station, which he often used to hold youngster’s attention whenever visiting schools.
 
After a quick costume change, he reappeared in the superhero’s attire. “I told him Spider-Man is here to save you. No monster will hurt you now. Then I told him to walk slowly toward me. I was very nervous that he might have slipped if he got too excited and ran.”
 
But to everyone’s delight, the young boy, eyes still filled with tears, smiled and started slowly towards his favorite superhero before jumping safely into his arms.
 
Amazing how Spider-Man, without the help of special effects or computer generation, was actual able to stand proudly atop a building and come to someone’s rescue. I’m sure it’s a moment Somchai and that little boy will not soon forget.
 
I guess no matter your age, we all want to feel safe – to take solace in the fact that someone’s looking out for us. Giving us courage and strength when we feel defeated – showering us with compassion and understanding when we feel discriminated against. 
 
Superheroes come in all shapes and sizes. For that little boy on the balcony, he looked a lot like Spider-Man. But for many of us, they probably look a lot like the people we have the great pleasure of knowing each and every day.
 
 
See more of Craig's writings on The View from Here.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Heart vs. Head

by Louise Jensen 
 
 
“If you want to become something, achieve something in life, then always listen to your heart.” Shahrukh Khan

I was recently interviewed by Aimee du Fresne as part of her Fearless Friday Interview series. She was quizzing me regarding a monumental move I had recently made. "Did you think it would be so hard
," she asked.

"I didn't think at all
," I perhaps, too honestly, blurted out.

There are generally two types of people. Those who make heart led decisions
, and those who rationalize, weigh up possible outcomes,
and think everything through meticulously.

Throughout my life I have always followed my heart without hesitation
-
I am extremely impulsive and rarely think of the potential consequences.

I have to be truthful and say this strategy hasn't always served me well.

However I know I am one of life's natural worries. If I stopped to really think things out properly I know I would never be brave enough to veer of
f whatever comfortable path I was on at the time. Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath, have faith everything will be okay and jump!


I know that even if things don't work out too well
, I can never regret any heart decision I have made. If I believe something will truly bring me joy (and to me that's what life is all about) I can't lament if it doesn't work. If I made head decisions and they went wrong I think I would kick myself for not foreseeing whatever the actual outcome was.

Of course life is all about balance
, and if you can find the middle ground between your head and heart and trust yourself implicitly you will never go far wrong.
About Louise…
Louise Jensen is an award winning Kinesiologist and is certified in many therapies, including the Mind Detox Method (as featured on Discovery Health) where she graduated from the Mind Detox Academy in record time. A regular writer for Holistic Therapist Magazine, Louise has overcome living with a disability and has 12 years experience in helping others to heal. She maintains the inspirations site “The HappyStarfish”

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Be your own valentine

THANK YOU for this wonderful post Louise!!!

By Louise Jensen

"I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line." Lucille Ball
 
It’s that time of year again, when for every girl who sits at her office desk swooning over a bouquet so large the delivery driver scarcely managed to pick it up, you bet there will be 10 others laced with envy.
 
What is it about Valentine’s Day that can have women shivering with expectation and men shaking with fear (or vice versa)?
 
I have friends who totally embrace the romance and celebrate whole heartedly, but also know of couples who have such wildly different ideas that the day inevitably ends with one or both parties sulking in a corner. When people can’t communicate honestly regarding their ideals and expectations is it any wonder their needs aren’t met?
 
I used to be the worst at this. “It’s too commercialized for me; another way of extracting money by mass producing cards and novelty gifts” is what I historically said out loud in the days leading up to the 14th.
 
In reality though, when it got to the actual day I would virtually be wrestling envelopes out of the mailman’s hands searching for cards. Every time the office door opened I would pray it was a florist with flowers for me.
 
“You expect me to cook?” I would cry in the evening. “You could have made an effort.”
 
Yes, I know I was unreasonable. But I wanted to feel special. Growing up in a family that never mentioned the L word, I wanted validation that I was lovable through overpriced red roses and heart shaped chocolates. What I didn’t realize was that the love I was actually lacking was self-love and no amount of cuddly bears holding balloons was going to fix that.
 
The first year I spent Valentine’s Day as a single adult was a revelation to me. I spent half an hour on the phone listening to my friend tell me about the love letter she had received from her boyfriend - listing all the things he loved about her. When I got off the phone, fighting back tears, I decided to write my own love note - to myself.
 
I found it painfully hard, but ultimately so liberating and it is now something I do every year regardless of my relationship status. I no longer place pressure on anybody (including myself) as I know I am loved (especially by me) and worth loving. They are all signed and dated and really lovely to look back on from time to time.
 
This is a small excerpt from last year’s letter.
 
“I love myself even though I am perfectly imperfect. I love myself even though I feel down from time to time - it’s ok to not be ok. I have total trust that I can support my own emotional and financial needs and will always take care of myself. I love the way I always try to be kind to others without sacrificing my own needs.”
 
Why not give it a go? If you feel really uncomfortable at the thought of doing this, then it really is the perfect exercise for you.

 About Louise…
Louise Jensen is an award winning Kinesiologist and is certified in many therapies, including the Mind Detox Method (as featured on Discovery Health) where she graduated from the Mind Detox Academy in record time. A regular writer for Holistic Therapist Magazine, Louise has overcome living with a disability and has 12 years experience in helping others to heal. She maintains the inspirations site “The Happy Starfish”.

 

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

I'm not "okay" and that's okay!

by Louise Jensen
 
"Happiness can only exist in acceptance". George Orwell
 
I woke up this morning, went to get out of bed and the pain was so great I virtually couldn't move.
 
"Are you ok" my partner asked?
 
"Ummm, actually, no."
 
There was a time such a flare up would really have impacted upon my emotional well-being. I would be flung into a complete blind panic picturing myself never moving again resulting in my neglected children half starving in dirty clothes.
 
Analyzing over and over again what could have caused the setback, resisting the situation and worrying about how I would cope was absolutely the worst thing I could have done to my poor body. Heaping extra stress on already tense muscles merely exacerbated and prolonged the period of increased pain.
 
I would berate myself for being a burden, blame my body for not being 'normal'; not offering myself the extra love I needed to recover as quickly as possible.
 
Today I am perfectly calm. The timing is terrible with it being the school holidays but flexibility is paramount for a harmonious life. Realizing that things happen beyond my control and it's ok not to be ok was one of the biggest lessons for me to learn, and one which took a huge amount of time.
 
Instead of listing all the negatives that will surround my flare up I have focused only on the positives.
 
Today I am grateful for:
 
1. My partner who loves me very much unconditionally.
 
2. My children who won't complain at a change of plans and will be happy with a day at home today.
 
3. To be able to do something I love (writing) without it affecting my pain levels.
 
4. To have money in my purse to be able to order a pizza later if needed.
 
5. To be sat in a warm comfortable chair looking at the snow outside.
 
There is always, always, always something to be thankful for.
 
Louise Jensen is an award winning holistic therapist. A regular writer, Louise has overcome living with a disability and has 12 years of experience helping others to heal. Louise recently co-created The Happy Starfish, an online community dedicated to celebrating health, happiness and peaceful living.

Monday, February 11, 2013

“The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.”

by Craig Ruvere

This Thursday is Valentine’s Day – the supposed day of love according to the greeting card companies.

It’s a time of year when ordinary husbands and wives pay as much as a 75% premium for such items as flowers, candy, jewelry and dining, and those who’ve lost or never found their true love lament.

Years ago, when I was first married, I used to feel the pressures of society when it came to this over commercialized holiday – buying into the hype even though I didn’t fully support its premise. I remember someone once said to me, “Don’t you love your wife? You have to get her something for Valentine’s Day!”

It’s a pretty sad day when the affection we hold for someone is measured more on inanimate gifts, one day out of the year, than the love, respect and compassion we offer from our hearts all year long.

As the day approaches, I’ve overheard countless woman threatening their husbands and boyfriends with bodily harm over the phone if they aren’t showered with roses or diamonds or some other overpriced item on this day of love. It truly begs the question, is that what love is all about these days?

Author Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote that, “The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.”

I couldn’t agree more with Emerson.

Flowers will eventually wilt and die and material possessions will provide some happiness early on, but will eventually settle in to normalcy. But fully giving your heart to someone, unconditionally, is a gift that will last a lifetime.

Every day as human beings, we should give the love of our life more than they expect – not just on Valentine’s Day. Your mate should be your best friend and therefore deserves to be treated as such.

So take this holiday season to remember why you chose to get involved in the game of love in the first place and try and rekindle that flame in all its glory – not just one day but every day. True love is about simplicity, not materials.

Many of us are only given one chance at true love, and time makes us forget just how special that feeling truly is. Love is not measured in flowers, candy or gifts - it’s measured in the size of your heart and the unconditional love you provide 365 days out of the year.
 
 
Follow Craig at The View from Here

Friday, February 8, 2013

What’s important with my mouth is whether it’s smiling or not

by Louise Jensen
 
For those who have not read my previous blog, my aim was to embrace the natural look for a week to see if I felt differently about myself - and if it changed the way others perceived me.
 
Wow, well not only did I survive my make-up free week but I actually found it a really enlightening exercise.
 
Although I was very aware the way I feel internally reflects externally - everyone can see when I am happy, sad, etc. by my facial expressions, glow (or not) and posture.
 
Being someone who usually takes care of her appearance, I hadn’t fully appreciated that the way I present myself externally would have such a dramatic effect on my internal world.
 
Day one was fine. To be honest it was a shut myself away and write day anyway so aside from the school run I had nothing too taxing to contend with.
 
Day two was a different matter. I had a meeting with my son’s head-teacher. To be honest this is a situation I am never entirely comfortable with anyway.
 
Previously lip gloss would have been my shield, but I had nothing to hide behind. I regressed from a calm, confident mother of three who runs her own business to a bumbling, inarticulate mouse who found it difficult to even make eye contact.
 
Surviving the meeting, I had to console the loss of my make-up bag with cake - great for my skin, but not so good for my waist. Uh oh, this experiment could well end up deflating my confidence and inflating my stomach.
 
As the week went on however it got easier and easier. Mornings were great. I actually had free time to plan my day properly before the school run.
 
There were cases where I had to return faulty goods to a store, to negotiate buying a car for my son with a salesman and to return food in a restaurant with hairs in it (that induced a whole other trauma not relevant to this piece).
 
I realized that actually nobody cared whether I wore make up or not, and I was treated exactly the same. I don’t think my partner or children even noticed and in a way I felt more accepted than I ever had been before, which made my confidence naturally soar.
 
In conclusion, Ive realized I am exactly the same person, with exactly the same capabilities, however I look. That’s not to say I will abstain long term, after all it’s a girls prerogative to change her mind, and I do like to dress up.
 
But once you have conquered what’s going on in the inside, the outside doesn’t matter so much after all. In short, what’s important with my mouth is whether it’s smiling or not, not whether it is coated in lipstick.
 
Spreading the love
Louise xx
 
Louise Jensen is an award winning holistic therapist. A regular writer, Louise has overcome living with a disability and has 12 years of experience helping others to heal. Louise recently co-created The Happy Starfish, an online community dedicated to celebrating health, happiness and peaceful living.