I'm not "okay" and that's okay!

by Louise Jensen

 

"Happiness can only exist in acceptance". George Orwell

 

I woke up this morning, went to get out of bed and the pain was so great I virtually couldn't move.

 

"Are you ok" my partner asked?

 

"Ummm, actually, no."

 

There was a time such a flare up would really have impacted upon my emotional well-being. I would be flung into a complete blind panic picturing myself never moving again resulting in my neglected children half starving in dirty clothes.

 

Analyzing over and over again what could have caused the setback, resisting the situation and worrying about how I would cope was absolutely the worst thing I could have done to my poor body. Heaping extra stress on already tense muscles merely exacerbated and prolonged the period of increased pain.

 

I would berate myself for being a burden, blame my body for not being 'normal'; not offering myself the extra love I needed to recover as quickly as possible.

 

Today I am perfectly calm. The timing is terrible with it being the school holidays but flexibility is paramount for a harmonious life. Realizing that things happen beyond my control and it's ok not to be ok was one of the biggest lessons for me to learn, and one which took a huge amount of time.

 

Instead of listing all the negatives that will surround my flare up I have focused only on the positives.

 

Today I am grateful for:

 

1. My partner who loves me very much unconditionally.

 

2. My children who won't complain at a change of plans and will be happy with a day at home today.

 

3. To be able to do something I love (writing) without it affecting my pain levels.

 

4. To have money in my purse to be able to order a pizza later if needed.

 

5. To be sat in a warm comfortable chair looking at the snow outside.

 

There is always, always, always something to be thankful for.

 

Louise Jensen is an award winning holistic therapist. A regular writer, Louise has overcome living with a disability and has 12 years of experience helping others to heal. Louise recently co-created The Happy Starfish, an online community dedicated to celebrating health, happiness and peaceful living.