Never judge a book by its cover

by Louise Jensen

A few months ago I had a rare evening out with my partner at the theatre. We managed to park directly outside the door and as I knew our seats were not far away I decided to be brave and leave my crutches in the car to save cluttering up the aisle. Holding onto his arm for support we made it to our seats and for 45 minutes I completely immersed myself in the ballet and pushed my pain to the back of my mind. During the interval I decided I needed the toilet.

 

My partner helped me to the disabled toilet on our floor as all other toilets were down two flights of stairs. When I came out however, there were two elderly women with walking sticks who took one look at me, jumped to completely the wrong conclusion and severely reprimanded me for having the gall to use the disabled toilets when there was obviously nothing wrong with me. Assuming these ladies were not super-grannies with x-ray vision to see my bones, or psychic powers to sense my pain levels how could they possibly know what is or isn’t wrong with me?

 

Now I admit I am a rather funky looking (if I do say so myself) mum with nothing noticeably wrong with me. I have all limbs, no disfigurements and am young, oh ok, youngish. If I am not in my wheelchair or using crutches no-one would guess I have any health problems. However it both astonishes and dismays me that people can be so judgmental towards those with ‘hidden’ disabilities.

 

Situations like the one above are sadly all too common, (I have frequently been shouted at using my blue badge) and the quandary is always how to react to it. I actually do not know any language foul enough to rival the women at the theatre (who said old ladies were sweet?) and it is not in my nature to do so. I always find education the best form of defense but sometimes you do not feel like justifying yourself to total strangers and nor should it be necessary to do so.

 

I did consider getting copies of my MRI scans and a brief medical history printed on flyers I could hand out when challenged but then thought this may be a tad extreme!

 

There are approximately 11 million disabled adults in the UK. Out of this number less than 8% of disabled people use a wheelchair. As not all disabilities relate to discernible mobility problems, it can be incredibly hard to judge whether someone has the ‘right’ to class themselves as disabled and neither should anyone try to do so.

 

So to all those narrow minded, intolerant individuals, I would say walk a mile in my shoes, but considering I can’t walk a mile in my shoes, (or any shoes for that matter), try to be more forbearing, failing that, please don’t be judgmental.

 

Spreading the love

Louise xx

 

 

 

Louise Jensen is an award winning holistic therapist. A regular writer, Louise has overcome living with a disability and has 12 years of experience helping others to heal. Louise recently co-created The Happy Starfish, an online community dedicated to celebrating health, happiness and peaceful living.

Getting even doesn’t mean you’ve won

By Craig Ruvere

 

“An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”  Gandhi

 

What is the first thing we often think of after someone has wronged or disrespected us?

 

Getting even.

 

It’s human nature to want to inflict the same kind of pain and punishment on our attackers, but at the end of the day what does that really accomplish? Yes, you might gain some temporary satisfaction, but inevitably you’ll find yourself riddled with disappointment that you’ve compromised who you really are simply to get even.

 

Of late I’ve been struggling with this – so angered and frustrated by others complete disregard and disrespect that I’ve actually contemplated stooping to their levels simply to gain retribution.

But each time the thought pops into my head I begin to realize something. Life isn’t a game and simply getting even doesn’t mean you’ve won the battle, it just means you’ve lost your self-respect.

 

I’d like to think that being a person of character will not go unrewarded. That relinquishing all the bitterness we harbor in our hearts will allow our own lives to flourish.

 

I’m reminded of something Helen Keller once said: “We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world.”

 

How very true. 

Pay more attention to your actions

by Kristen Sommer

Sometimes it only takes one story to change your outlook and perspective in life.

I encountered one such story today, the short tale of Ugly the cat. Though brief, this story had me sobbing in under two minutes. You can read about Ugly the cat here (http://uglythecat.com/).

After reading this very short story of a real cat, many realizations assaulted me at once.

Yes, admittedly I am a cat lover, so hearing this happen to any cat crushed me. Much like the E-Harmony dating cat-girl, if I could hug every cat and take them all into my home I would (a frightening prospect, I know). But more than my broken heart for cats, I experienced something completely different that knocked me off of my feet for the rest of the day.

How many times in life have we abused something or someone just because he/she/it was not like us - looked different or acted against the ‘norm?’

Bullying is a large issue these days. In my past, I looked like Ugly on my inside - beaten up, abused and scarred. Words were the rocks thrown at me, and disdain was the water hose flushing me. As a child, I still had a lot of love within me and tried to share it with everyone, even the people who continued to beat me. I remain the same to this day.

How many others have gone through something akin to this? How many others have more horrifying stories? I know that there are many, yet they live on, no matter how many times they are ‘cut open’ and left bleeding their heart out.

Reading this story made me realize that Ugly is not just a cat. Ugly is you, me and many others in the world. How often do we seek acceptance from peers and are turned away? How often do we treat the Ugly’s of the world in such a callous, heartless and uncaring way?

From this story, I have seen myself as a victim, but more than that, I have seen myself as an attacker as well. To recognize that was more than a shock, yet I too am guilty of this.

Through reading about Ugly, I realized that I needed to watch and observe myself more closely, to follow the path of working together more harmoniously. It only takes one second of not focusing to go to an age old habit of casting stones and judging others simply because ‘they are not like me.’

Ugly taught me to pay attention more closely to my actions and words, so that I don’t become an abuser or a victim. Ugly taught me to just love.

Peace of Mind

Did you know the natural state of the mind is peace? It may be hard to believe but peace is something we all felt before the mind became tarnished with worry, judgement, greed, and planning. If you spend time missing or regretting the past and feeling anxious about the future you are missing the beauty of the present moment completely.   

 

Imagine how liberating it would be to free your mind from thinking too much and explore consciousness resulting in greater peace, love and contentment. So how do we get back to that oneness with our own divinity? It could be as simple as a few minutes a day spent meditating. We have all heard the term meditation but what does it actually do?

 

Meditation enables us to break the cycle of thinking too much. The mind is constantly striving to create problems, looking back to the past and worrying about the future. Through meditation we can let go of our thoughts and come back to the Now. The more relaxed the mind is the easier we can come back to, and remain in, the present moment. By freeing our body of stressful, negative thoughts we can facilitate healing, maintain good health and improve sleep.

 

There are many types of meditation. Don't be put off if you have tried one before that has not worked for you. Call CGI to find out more!

 

 

Louise Jensen is an award winning Kinesiologist and is certified in many therapies, including the Mind Detox Method (as featured on Discovery Health) where she graduated from the Mind Detox Academy in record time. A regular writer, Louise has overcome living with a disability and has 12 years of experience helping others to heal. In 2012, Louise co-created The Happy Starfish, an online community dedicated to celebrating health, happiness and peaceful living.

Website - www.balancinghealth.co.uk

Facebook - facebook.com/balancinghealth

- facebook.com/happystarfishpublishing

Healing teenage anxiety through meditation

BOS Meditation for Teenagers and Young Adults (ages 16-28)

Heal your emotional burdens…

Discover your inner potential…
Live a truly inspirational life.

What is BOS Meditation for Teenagers?

Today’s generation of teenagers and young adults are becoming overwhelmed by stress, pressures and outside influences absent from many years ago. Unfortunately, this demographic is ill equipped to navigate through the troubled waters they face. They often seek an unhealthy solution to ease their anxieties – causing physical and emotional damage that many times is irreparable.

But it is possible to find positive and effective ways to calm the mind and look within to discover a plan of action fully aligned with their true potential, their dreams and their overall well-being. It’s called BOS Meditation for Teenagers and Young Adults.

BOS Meditation is a program meant to teach the younger generation how to utilize their infinite potential in ways that are healthy, encouraging and constructive for their physical and emotional well-being – leading them down a path for a successful life.

If young people would devote a small portion of their time to learn these life-changing tools and techniques at this stage of the game, they’d find themselves on track for greater academic achievement, successful relationships and a life filled with genuine happiness.

This program is an opportunity to prevent the harmful choices so many make, which often impact the rest of their lives in ways they never imagined – leading to unfulfillment, unhappiness and a life void of any real meaning.

It’s time to make the choice to heal your emotional burdens, discover your inner potential and live a truly inspirational life.

Give CGI a call for more details on how you can get started at 201-784-5575.

 Program Details:

•      A small group meets weekly for training and discussion.
•      Physical training and meditation create a kind of “daily homework” to aid the process of healing   
     and self-discovery.
•      Life and energy principles are learned and applied in daily life.

A hug is great medicine

by Kristen Sommer

After the superstorm struck and left many without power, homes, gas and a link to the outside world, a sense of depression and anger was in the air.

I found myself without a center, swaying in the breeze of negativity, unable to get myself out. Like a falling leaf trapped in the whirling wind, I kept sinking lower and lower. I would cry, as if a light switch was thrown. I lost my smile, and my positivity came crashing down.

During this time, I couldn’t talk with anyone or share what I felt; it would only induce more tears and, naturally, make me stick out like a bright red sore thumb.

So how can one possibly combat such negativity when talking and sharing is not an option?

A hug.

How can one simple hug make something better? I thought about this today as I was sinking in my quicksand of depression. Whenever I was upset and was too emotional to speak, what made me feel better? Snuggle time with mom. Sitting next to my aunt, while she rubbed my back or pet my head. Being enveloped by my Grandpa’s arms, or even getting a raspberry to my belly from my father were all things which brought a smile to my face, through my tears.

What is it about such a simple gesture of love that soothes all aches and pains?

Is it family magic, or is it something else?  Curious, I went to research the magic of hugs and was surprised to see just what happens in this ever-fascinating body that we have.

Did you know that hugging can actually lower one’s blood pressure, reduce heart rate, strengthen the immune system, increase oxytocin (which can reduce stress by decreasing levels of cortisol -the fight or flight hormone), can help decrease pain, increase hemoglobin levels, and even save lives (Re: the premier baby story where one sibling’s hug brought the other sibling back from near death http://www.kindynews.com/1/post/2012/07/the-power-of-love-10-years-later-after-that-rescuing-hug.html )?

When someone looks sad, or depressed, or even not themselves, I know what I will do next time, since it was so effective with me: I will hug him/her, and try to share my love. After all, ‘All you need is love.’

Belonging

Louise Jensen

I am currently away, staying with relatives in the middle of the beautiful countryside. The scenery here is stunning and it's easy to relax amongst horses, dogs and a token cat. Out of my normal routine I have lots of time to meditate and contemplate. I feel at peace here but know it is only a temporary visit. This is not where I belong but where is?

I sold my house earlier this year. After 20 years of being on the property ladder it is quite a strange feeling not to 'own' (aka owing the bank a huge sum of money) anything.

On one hand it is quite liberating to have no real ties, no commitment and to be free to go wherever I choose. On the other it can be really unsettling. As a mother I want a safe nest for my children who need some stability.

The best thing I can show them in life is that the biggest foundation, the only foundation, for building a true home is love. Releasing attachment to possessions can be one of the hardest lessons to learn, but once you understand, really understand with your heart, you can start to release the need for the 'stuff'.

Without craving the next thing or letting what you own define who you are, you naturally start to practice gratitude for all the small, organic things surrounding you. This feeling then easily makes the transition into love, which, after all, is all you need.

I hope my children can make their transition into adulthood secure in the knowledge that although circumstances change, 'things' are just temporary, happiness, real happiness can only every come from within.

Then I will be happy to watch them fly off into the world knowing that wherever they settle they will always have a 'home' straight from the heart.

Spreading the love

Louise xx

The Happy Starfish

Seeing things as they really are

By Louise Jensen

 

My son had some homework on Albert Einstein to complete over the weekend. 

 

While doing some research, we came across this Einstein quote “Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts”. 

 

That really struck a chord with me. I think I spent way too long trying to conform, to fit in, be accepted, to be ‘normal’.

 

When I first became a wheelchair user I didn’t feel I fit in anymore - I felt invisible and desperate to be heard. That’s when I made an effort to examine what I really felt, not take the opinions of others, including health care practitioners as the way it should be and the absolute truth.

 

I decided, and it was a conscious decision, to always trust my own opinions, see my own vision, speak from my heart and be true to myself.

 

It can be one of the hardest things to go against the grain - to question an opinion and draw your own conclusions.

 

It can leave you feeling emotionally naked and vulnerable.

 

We are all born awesomely authentic but how many of us lose this trait along the way?

 

To carve out a new path, rather than blindly following others can be stupidly scary at first but, after a period, we no longer look for validation from others.

 

We know absolutely what we think, feel and believe and life takes on a richer, more fulfilling quality.

 

Start to evaluate situations in your life.

 

Do they hold inevitable conclusions? How do YOU, not your friends and family, really feel about them?

 

If possibilities were infinite and limitless, what would you want to achieve?

 

We can be truly innovative and it is then, and only then, when we are safe and secure in the knowledge of our own being that we can see things as they really are, not as we are told they should be.

 

Then with an open and loving heart we can truly be the change we want to see in the world and make a difference, however big or small.

 

That my friends is totally liberating.

 

 

Louise is responsible for a wonderful website called The Happy Starfish. Take a look!