LIVING WELL: It's all about choices

“You rarely have time for everything you want in this life, so you need to make choices. And hopefully your choices can come from a deep sense of who you are. ”
Fred Rogers (aka Mister Rogers)

Man has been bestowed the ability to think and have free will. Combined those two characteristics allow us to make choices as we navigate through this ever chaotic and complicated existence.

Some choices are simple like what to have for dinner, while others are more complicated such as taking a new job or moving to a new town or state.

But they’re our choices to make regardless of the influence we might receive, good and bad, from the people surrounding us. Our choices to ponder, as rationally as possible, before actually having to live with them on a daily basis.

As Rogers says, “you rarely have time for everything you want in this life.” Stop and ask yourself, are you making choices based upon what you want in life or what others expect of you? Are you paralyzed by the decision making process and therefore never fully commit to anything at all?

Whatever choices we make it’s important to remember who ultimately benefits or carries the burden from those choices – us.

So take some time to think about what’s truly important in your life and what accomplishments you hope to achieve based upon what’s dancing around inside your heart. There you’ll find the truth and there is where you should look the next time you find yourself with a choice to make.

LIVING WELL: A Message from "The Little Prince"

By Craig Ruvere

It’s been a long time since I’ve sat down to enjoy the wonderment of children’s literature. I suppose as we grow older and the world of far-off, fairy tale lands are tainted by reality, our need and believability in such fiction disappears.

Craig Ruvere

As we continue to age, I think our child-like imagination and power to dream endlessly decreases. Perhaps this is one of the many reasons why children’s literature is no longer applicable to adults – as we’re not always able to suspend our disbeliefs.

And while the book, The Little Prince, which was written by Antoine De Saint-Exupery in 1943, was first conceived as a children’s story, it has come to be loved by adults all over the world – and I’m one of them.

I was first introduced to The Little Prince after reading the following passage: “Years ago, a friend gave me a piece of calligraphy which I have always kept in my office. It’s a quotation from The Little Prince which reads, “L’essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.” What is essential is invisible to the eyes.” Fred Rogers

“What is essential is invisible to the eyes.” It sounded like the perfect mantra for all of mankind and prompted a visit to my local library so I could obtain a copy and experience this timeless treasure in its translated form. But as many will understand, life often gets in the way and I never did find the time to meander over to my town library. And before long my desire to read The Little Prince faded.

Years later, while sifting through the shelves of a local bookstore, I once again stumbled upon the The Little Prince while looking for an unrelated text. I immediately remembered that quote as I clutched the tiny book in both my hands – thinking about how Rogers and countless others have been touched by the values and teachings of that little prince.

And so without hesitation, I added the book to my literary collection. I assumed at first it would be written in a style geared for a much younger audience, but halfway through the first page I was pleasantly surprised – entertained as an adult while remembering the simplicity of just being a child.

Throughout the story, as we travel the galaxy with the little prince, the quote which first inspired me to read this book in the first place is echoed time and time again. We discover the great importance of looking beneath the surface to find the real truth; the real meaning; the real person that lives in all of us.

We come to understand that adults such as myself have a difficult time seeing with one’s heart instead of with one’s eyes – preoccupied with wealth, power and technology and all together missing the most important things in life such as unconditional love and companionship.

The more I read, the more I became aware that children truly know how to live as the little prince expressed numerous times. It seems only adults look past the small wonders this world has to offer – rushing from place to place in search of something bigger and better. Unfortunately, it seems we’re always searching for the wrong things, which leaves us unhappy, despondent and depressed – rushing off to the next place to continue our search.

In short, superficiality affords us a life with little meaning or substance. It’s only when we realize “what is essential is invisible to the eyes” that we begin to see clearly what’s ultimately important.

The young mind of a child, while impressionable, lives in a world of hope and wonder; dreams and imagination. They are influenced more by who a person truly is on the inside and how someone makes them feel than what they represent on the outside.

Children often play pretend when they’re young – taking on the roles of adults all around them. Maybe someday adults will realize there are benefits to sometimes thinking like a child.

LIVING WELL: Prioritizing Life's To-Do-List

I often meet up with a friend of mine on Wednesday nights, for coffee and conversation at a small café in a local bookstore.

Craig Ruvere

The other night, while she stood at the counter ordering something caffeinated to drink and a sweet-treat to munch on, I was busy laying claim on a table for two. With everyone searching for a comfortable place to drink their coffee and flip through a book they have no intention of buying, available tables are often hard to find.

Patiently waiting for her return, my eyes landed upon a magazine sitting atop the table in front of me. The cover was a series of yellow, green and orange gourds of varying shapes and sizes – all artistically arranged.

The magazine’s title was “Real Simple” and its intent was to make life as “simple” as possible each and every day. It featured recipes, beauty tips, ideas for the home and inspirational stories for those looking to minimize the chaos many of us find ourselves plagued with.

Flipping through the first few pages, I came across a message from Editor Kristin Van Ogtrop. She spoke at some length about to-do-lists and how our lives are often dictated by these pesky reminders. Admittedly, my kitchen table is frequently littered with yellow post it notes or torn pieces of scrap paper listing a myriad of projects I need to complete. Unfortunately, as the tiny papers increase, so does my anxiety – especially after the realization that I haven’t made much progress.

She recanted a story of how she recently came across an envelope containing cards and well wishes from cherished individuals she had previously worked with. She began reading some of the heartfelt messages from people she still remembered fondly. But as life so often gets in the way, she soon realized several years had passed and the relationships she once valued had taken a back seat. It was at that moment when she came to a very interesting conclusion: “I realized that the contents of that envelope formed a different sort of to-do-list – one made up not of things but of people.”

Take a look at your own life and ask yourself, what’s on my to-do-list?

Our lives seem filled to capacity with a plethora of errands, chores and commitments which often pull us in different directions — robbing us of the more memorable moments life has to offer.

In short we prioritize our lives based upon what we believe to be important and inadvertently forget about the people we always assume will be around when our to-do-lists are finally complete.

It’s funny how our lists seem to focus so much on taking care of responsibilities, yet pay little attention to taking care of the people who provide our lives with meaning and memories.

Imagine turning off the television and tuning out all distractions to interact with that special someone who’s been sitting right next to, yet somehow has been forgotten along life’s journey. Or to regularly afford time to a parent or grandparent as a small token of respect and honor to those who sacrificed so much so that you could have a better life. Aren’t those priorities which deserve a top spot on our to-do-lists?

Lists are a great way to remind yourself to change the oil in your car, pick up bread and milk at the grocery store or your suit at the dry cleaners. But when do we ever remind ourselves to better foster the relationships in our lives? To take time out of our precious schedules to show someone just how valuable they truly are to us.

David Norris once wrote that, “How you spend your time is more important than how you spend your money. Money mistakes can be corrected, but time is gone forever.”