Heart vs. Head

by Louise Jensen 

 

 

“If you want to become something, achieve something in life, then always listen to your heart.” Shahrukh Khan

I was recently interviewed by Aimee du Fresne as part of her Fearless Friday Interview series. She was quizzing me regarding a monumental move I had recently made. "Did you think it would be so hard," she asked.

"I didn't think at all," I perhaps, too honestly, blurted out.

There are generally two types of people. Those who make heart led decisions, and those who rationalize, weigh up possible outcomes, and think everything through meticulously.

Throughout my life I have always followed my heart without hesitation - I am extremely impulsive and rarely think of the potential consequences.

I have to be truthful and say this strategy hasn't always served me well.

However I know I am one of life's natural worries. If I stopped to really think things out properly I know I would never be brave enough to veer off whatever comfortable path I was on at the time. Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath, have faith everything will be okay and jump!

I know that even if things don't work out too well, I can never regret any heart decision I have made. If I believe something will truly bring me joy (and to me that's what life is all about) I can't lament if it doesn't work. If I made head decisions and they went wrong I think I would kick myself for not foreseeing whatever the actual outcome was.

Of course life is all about balance, and if you can find the middle ground between your head and heart and trust yourself implicitly you will never go far wrong.

About Louise…

Louise Jensen is an award winning Kinesiologist and is certified in many therapies, including the Mind Detox Method (as featured on Discovery Health) where she graduated from the Mind Detox Academy in record time. A regular writer for Holistic Therapist Magazine, Louise has overcome living with a disability and has 12 years experience in helping others to heal. She maintains the inspirations site “The HappyStarfish”

Be your own valentine

THANK YOU for this wonderful post Louise!!!

By Louise Jensen

"I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line." Lucille Ball

 

It’s that time of year again, when for every girl who sits at her office desk swooning over a bouquet so large the delivery driver scarcely managed to pick it up, you bet there will be 10 others laced with envy.

 

What is it about Valentine’s Day that can have women shivering with expectation and men shaking with fear (or vice versa)?

 

I have friends who totally embrace the romance and celebrate whole heartedly, but also know of couples who have such wildly different ideas that the day inevitably ends with one or both parties sulking in a corner. When people can’t communicate honestly regarding their ideals and expectations is it any wonder their needs aren’t met?

 

I used to be the worst at this. “It’s too commercialized for me; another way of extracting money by mass producing cards and novelty gifts” is what I historically said out loud in the days leading up to the 14th.

 

In reality though, when it got to the actual day I would virtually be wrestling envelopes out of the mailman’s hands searching for cards. Every time the office door opened I would pray it was a florist with flowers for me.

 

“You expect me to cook?” I would cry in the evening. “You could have made an effort.”

 

Yes, I know I was unreasonable. But I wanted to feel special. Growing up in a family that never mentioned the “L” word, I wanted validation that I was lovable through overpriced red roses and heart shaped chocolates. What I didn’t realize was that the love I was actually lacking was self-love and no amount of cuddly bears holding balloons was going to fix that.

 

The first year I spent Valentine’s Day as a single adult was a revelation to me. I spent half an hour on the phone listening to my friend tell me about the love letter she had received from her boyfriend - listing all the things he loved about her. When I got off the phone, fighting back tears, I decided to write my own love note - to myself.

 

I found it painfully hard, but ultimately so liberating and it is now something I do every year regardless of my relationship status. I no longer place pressure on anybody (including myself) as I know I am loved (especially by me) and worth loving. They are all signed and dated and really lovely to look back on from time to time.

 

This is a small excerpt from last year’s letter.

 

“I love myself even though I am perfectly imperfect. I love myself even though I feel down from time to time - it’s ok to not be ok. I have total trust that I can support my own emotional and financial needs and will always take care of myself. I love the way I always try to be kind to others without sacrificing my own needs.”

 

Why not give it a go? If you feel really uncomfortable at the thought of doing this, then it really is the perfect exercise for you.

 About Louise…

Louise Jensen is an award winning Kinesiologist and is certified in many therapies, including the Mind Detox Method (as featured on Discovery Health) where she graduated from the Mind Detox Academy in record time. A regular writer for Holistic Therapist Magazine, Louise has overcome living with a disability and has 12 years experience in helping others to heal. She maintains the inspirations site “The Happy Starfish”.

 

I'm not "okay" and that's okay!

by Louise Jensen

 

"Happiness can only exist in acceptance". George Orwell

 

I woke up this morning, went to get out of bed and the pain was so great I virtually couldn't move.

 

"Are you ok" my partner asked?

 

"Ummm, actually, no."

 

There was a time such a flare up would really have impacted upon my emotional well-being. I would be flung into a complete blind panic picturing myself never moving again resulting in my neglected children half starving in dirty clothes.

 

Analyzing over and over again what could have caused the setback, resisting the situation and worrying about how I would cope was absolutely the worst thing I could have done to my poor body. Heaping extra stress on already tense muscles merely exacerbated and prolonged the period of increased pain.

 

I would berate myself for being a burden, blame my body for not being 'normal'; not offering myself the extra love I needed to recover as quickly as possible.

 

Today I am perfectly calm. The timing is terrible with it being the school holidays but flexibility is paramount for a harmonious life. Realizing that things happen beyond my control and it's ok not to be ok was one of the biggest lessons for me to learn, and one which took a huge amount of time.

 

Instead of listing all the negatives that will surround my flare up I have focused only on the positives.

 

Today I am grateful for:

 

1. My partner who loves me very much unconditionally.

 

2. My children who won't complain at a change of plans and will be happy with a day at home today.

 

3. To be able to do something I love (writing) without it affecting my pain levels.

 

4. To have money in my purse to be able to order a pizza later if needed.

 

5. To be sat in a warm comfortable chair looking at the snow outside.

 

There is always, always, always something to be thankful for.

 

Louise Jensen is an award winning holistic therapist. A regular writer, Louise has overcome living with a disability and has 12 years of experience helping others to heal. Louise recently co-created The Happy Starfish, an online community dedicated to celebrating health, happiness and peaceful living.

What’s important with my mouth is whether it’s smiling or not

by Louise Jensen

 

For those who have not read my previous blog, my aim was to embrace the natural look for a week to see if I felt differently about myself - and if it changed the way others perceived me.

 

Wow, well not only did I survive my make-up free week but I actually found it a really enlightening exercise.

 

Although I was very aware the way I feel internally reflects externally - everyone can see when I am happy, sad, etc. by my facial expressions, glow (or not) and posture.

 

Being someone who usually takes care of her appearance, I hadn’t fully appreciated that the way I present myself externally would have such a dramatic effect on my internal world.

 

Day one was fine. To be honest it was a “shut myself away and write day” anyway so aside from the school run I had nothing too taxing to contend with.

 

Day two was a different matter. I had a meeting with my son’s head-teacher. To be honest this is a situation I am never entirely comfortable with anyway.

 

Previously lip gloss would have been my shield, but I had nothing to hide behind. I regressed from a calm, confident mother of three who runs her own business to a bumbling, inarticulate mouse who found it difficult to even make eye contact.

 

Surviving the meeting, I had to console the loss of my make-up bag with cake - great for my skin, but not so good for my waist. Uh oh, this experiment could well end up deflating my confidence and inflating my stomach.

 

As the week went on however it got easier and easier. Mornings were great. I actually had free time to plan my day properly before the school run.

 

There were cases where I had to return faulty goods to a store, to negotiate buying a car for my son with a salesman and to return food in a restaurant with hairs in it (that induced a whole other trauma not relevant to this piece).

 

I realized that actually nobody cared whether I wore make up or not, and I was treated exactly the same. I don’t think my partner or children even noticed and in a way I felt more accepted than I ever had been before, which made my confidence naturally soar.

 

In conclusion, I’ve realized I am exactly the same person, with exactly the same capabilities, however I look. That’s not to say I will abstain long term, after all it’s a girls prerogative to change her mind, and I do like to dress up.

 

But once you have conquered what’s going on in the inside, the outside doesn’t matter so much after all. In short, what’s important with my mouth is whether it’s smiling or not, not whether it is coated in lipstick.

 

Spreading the love

Louise xx

 

Louise Jensen is an award winning holistic therapist. A regular writer, Louise has overcome living with a disability and has 12 years of experience helping others to heal. Louise recently co-created The Happy Starfish, an online community dedicated to celebrating health, happiness and peaceful living.

A Gift of Kindness

by Louise Jensen

 

"You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love". Henry Drummond

 

You are probably getting to know by now that I love the whole concept of Paying it Forward. My motto has always been “Be Kind” and nothing makes me happier than hearing about random acts of giving.

 

I was thrilled to be able to blog about Tony Tolbert last week, the 51 year old lawyer who donated his furnished house, rent free, to a homeless family for a year. Less than a week later, I am excited to share another beautiful story with you. It looks like 2013 may be the year for selfless acts.

 

Dick Hannah's Toyota Dealership in Washington has publicly shared that an ex-military couple recently visited their showroom after inheriting a modest amount of money. They cash purchased a Toyota Sienna minivan and donated it to Paul Meyer, a police officer who was paralyzed from the waist down when a tree fell on him during a training accident last November.

 

The purchaser, who wishes to remain anonymous, had spoken to Paul briefly during a traffic stop and when he recognized him from a TV report decided he would like to do something to improve the life of Paul and his family. The car was titled in the name of Paul Meyer and parked in his driveway.

 

To keep the spirit of Paying it Forward going the dealership, alongside Toyota, are not only funding all future maintenance bills on the vehicle, but have also donated money to a charity chosen by the nameless purchaser. In this case, a fund that assists wounded marines.

 

Wow. It is humbling to hear of two such huge random acts of kindness in less than a week. Keep it going, no matter what you do, do it with kindness.

 

Louise xx

 

 

 

Louise Jensen is an award winning holistic therapist. A regular writer, Louise has overcome living with a disability and has 12 years of experience helping others to heal. Louise recently co-created The Happy Starfish, an online community dedicated to celebrating health, happiness and peaceful living.

The Poorest President

by Louise Jensen

 

He is richest who is content with the least, for content is the wealth of nature”. Socrates

President Mujica could be living in a luxury home that the Uruguayan state provides for its leaders and living a privileged life of wealth that many of us can only dream of. Instead Jose Mujica chooses to live on a tumbledown old farm where the only source of water is an outside well and give away 90% of his salary (equivalent to $12,000 (£7,500) to charity.

By donating this amount to good causes he lives on the average Uruguayan income of $775, £485 per month.

"I've lived like this most of my life," he says.

Mujica spend 14 years in jail after spending the 1960s and 1970s as part of the Uruguayan guerrilla Tupamaros, a leftist armed group inspired by the Cuban revolution.

Most of his detention was spent in isolation, until he was freed in 1985 when Uruguay returned to democracy.

Those harsh conditions helped define Mujica.

"I'm called 'the poorest president', but I don't feel poor. Poor people are those who only work to try to keep an expensive lifestyle, and always want more and more," he says.

"This is a matter of freedom. If you don't have many possessions then you don't need to work all your life like a slave to sustain them, and therefore you have more time for yourself," he says.

"I may appear to be an eccentric old man... But this is a free choice."

The Uruguayan leader made a similar point when he addressed the Rio+20 summit in June this year: "We've been talking all afternoon about sustainable development. To get the masses out of poverty. But what are we thinking? Do we want the model of development and consumption of the rich countries? I ask you now: what would happen to this planet if Indians would have the same proportion of cars per household than Germans? How much oxygen would we have left”?

"Does this planet have enough resources so seven or eight billion can have the same level of consumption and waste that today is seen in rich societies? It is this level of hyper-consumption that is harming our planet."

Mujica accuses most world leaders of having a "blind obsession to achieve growth with consumption, as if the contrary would mean the end of the world".

Like many leaders not all of his policies are welcomed and supported but I think we could all learn an awful lot from this selfless and inspirational man.

 

Louise Jensen is an award winning holistic therapist. A regular writer, Louise has overcome living with a disability and has 12 years of experience helping others to heal. Louise recently co-created The Happy Starfish, an online community dedicated to celebrating health, happiness and peaceful living.