How I lost my mobility and gained inner peace

By Louise Jensen

Louise Jensen

If someone had asked me ten years ago what I thought the worst thing that could happen to me would be I could probably have written a list.  No scrap that, I was that much of a worrier I would have needed a scroll to note every possible outcome of every possible scenario.  Ironically in all the times my imagination went on its wild, elaborate story telling journey (frequently), being in a wheelchair was never on the list.  But that’s exactly what happened. 

I had a car accident which not only caused spinal damage but exacerbated a pre-existing condition and as a result I spent a long time in a wheelchair, progressed to crutches and five years on I am now able to get around the house without aid.  

Initially I was distraught.  I had to fold my holistic therapy business, I had three children I didn’t feel I could care for properly and a dog who didn’t understand what had happened to our long country walks.

My progress has been slow, but it wasn’t until I changed my mental attitude that my physical recovery started in earnest.

I tried many techniques and was forever looking for ‘the answer’ without being entirely sure what the question was.  Once I properly understood peace isn’t something we can obtain, it can only be experienced, I knew I had all I needed within me.  I spent hours exploring my own consciousness and it was awesome to find that rather than just giving clients advice I was actually living it.  Walking the walk as it were, oh, without the actual walking bit.  Everything suddenly made sense. 

Sure, I will never be the person I was but hey I have learnt to love the new me, to value myself, to ditch the negative voices in my head and create a life that excites and fulfils me.  Below are some tips that helped me on my journey.  I hope you can pick something out to help you on yours.

Be kind to yourself.  If my situation had happened to a friend I would never have said “oh well, there’s no point to you now.  You will just be an unlovable burden to everyone”.  But that’s exactly how I talked to myself.  Writing down some of the things you say to yourself shows how outrageous and hurtful they would be if said out loud to someone else.  Love yourself like you love others.  You deserve it. 

You can’t change things that have happened to you but you can choose the way you feel about them.  I spent hours and hours wishing my accident had never happened, longing to be the past me.  Accepting that would never happen but realising I have a choice on how I feel about it was really empowering.  I have a different kind of life now but one where I really do value the small things.

Be Grateful.  Initially I really struggled with this one but many hours sat in front of a journal (and it was days and days before I could even take the lid off the pen) I always compile my grateful list before I go to bed no matter how much pain I am in or however bad a day I have had.  Once you start it’s amazing how you start to notice the little things you may have taken for granted before.   I went a long time with virtually blank pages and now I can easily fill a book!

You are stronger than you think.  Too many people have said to me “I could never cope in your situation”.  The truth is you could.  The human instinct is to survive and we always do.  Your spirit can only be broken if you allow it to be.  I felt really, really sad but then I made the choice to change that.  It’s not always easy but, with the right support, you can do it. 

There is absolutely no point worrying about the future at all.  I was in a constant, stomach churning, place of anxiety worrying about how complete my recovery would be.  Actually, although I am a long way off healed, I am better than the doctor initially predicted.  Truth is nobody ever really knows what the future holds.  Think back to situations you have envisaged and fretted over.  Did they actually happen?  No, probably not.  We can’t predict forthcoming events and it is a waste of energy to even try.  I may carry on gradually with my recovery or I may be confined again to a wheelchair, either way my worrying about it will not change the outcome.

Don’t let your mind be judgemental.  We automatically label things good or bad. Although my accident seemed unfair and tragic at the time (a bad thing) I have grown so much as a person, have a new business and have found love (a good thing). Truth is, it was just a thing and labelling it automatically puts you in a certain state of mind. 

Stay in the present moment and live life fully.  You never know when, if, or how drastically things can change in a heartbeat. Appreciate what you have right now.  I never put off things until the future anymore.  My accident has proved to me there is never a future like we think.  Now, this moment, is all we can guarantee.

Live is an adventure, don’t fear it; live it.  Losing my mobility hasn’t ruined my life.  Sure it has changed it but I embrace that change.  Actually I’m ok.  I’m living my life and it’s awesome.  Live yours too.

Louise Jensen is an award winning Kinesiologist and is certified in many therapies, including the Mind Detox Method (as featured on Discovery Health) where she graduated from the Mind Detox Academy in record time. A regular writer, Louise has overcome living with a disability and has 12 years’ experience in helping others to heal.  In 2012 Louise co-created The Happy Starfish, an online community dedicated to celebrating health, happiness and peaceful living.

  

http://www.thehappystarfish.com

http://www.facebook.com/happystarfishpublishing

http://www.balancinghealth.co.uk/

http://www.facebook.com/balancinghealth

Everyday Thoughts from an Everyday Person

Kristen Sommer

Healer, Yogi Instructor, Massage Therapist, Everyday Person

 

Today, I sat near a window, preparing for a session, when I looked outside.

The sky was a pearl gray and the lush green trees and bushes that surrounded the window, like a swiss cheese cave, seemed to pop out and say hello. The colors were alive and nature was alive.

At that time, I found that I was able to relax and just breathe. It was one of those breaths where you could release all of your stress and just feel good about life and how truly beautiful it is.

Kristen Sommer

What made the scene more unique, and perhaps more lively than normal, was that it had begun to rain. Earlier in the day I had heard a hurricane warning, so I was prepared for slow drivers, accidents and a general malcontent in the people that I would encounter during the day.

For those few minutes by the window though, I couldn’t help but wonder, “How beautiful is rain?” Rain nourishes the earth to give us fresh water and healthy crops. Rain washes away dirt, dust and pollen from all of our outside things. Rain is something life giving. Yet how often do we take rain for granted?

For as long as I can remember, I have always loved the rain. As a child, I would eagerly run outside, throw my arms open wide and spin in circles as the rain washed over me in its cool, crisp way. I would laugh wildly as I ran through and into puddles - taking delight in the easily washable mess that I was making.

I would squeal at the worms which came out from the earth and run away from them as if they were monsters ready to eat me. I always remembered feeling alive, refreshed and ready to take on the world (all of it from stuffed animals, to my family…except worms).

When it rains now, I always stop to listen. If in my car, I lower the radio, tune out the ‘everyday’ noise that I make to distract me and just listen to the natural sounds that were considered music for ages before I was created.

There is something soothing in the rain if we take but a moment to see past the unimportant inconveniences it is blamed for creating.

Just after my session, someone said to me: “Some people walk in the rain. Others get wet.”

I walk in the rain with a smile on my face.

Do you walk in the rain, or are you a person who simply gets wet? I hope that you can see the rain in a new light, and take joy from something simple (and free!).

LIVING WELL: Prioritizing Life's To-Do-List

I often meet up with a friend of mine on Wednesday nights, for coffee and conversation at a small café in a local bookstore.

Craig Ruvere

The other night, while she stood at the counter ordering something caffeinated to drink and a sweet-treat to munch on, I was busy laying claim on a table for two. With everyone searching for a comfortable place to drink their coffee and flip through a book they have no intention of buying, available tables are often hard to find.

Patiently waiting for her return, my eyes landed upon a magazine sitting atop the table in front of me. The cover was a series of yellow, green and orange gourds of varying shapes and sizes – all artistically arranged.

The magazine’s title was “Real Simple” and its intent was to make life as “simple” as possible each and every day. It featured recipes, beauty tips, ideas for the home and inspirational stories for those looking to minimize the chaos many of us find ourselves plagued with.

Flipping through the first few pages, I came across a message from Editor Kristin Van Ogtrop. She spoke at some length about to-do-lists and how our lives are often dictated by these pesky reminders. Admittedly, my kitchen table is frequently littered with yellow post it notes or torn pieces of scrap paper listing a myriad of projects I need to complete. Unfortunately, as the tiny papers increase, so does my anxiety – especially after the realization that I haven’t made much progress.

She recanted a story of how she recently came across an envelope containing cards and well wishes from cherished individuals she had previously worked with. She began reading some of the heartfelt messages from people she still remembered fondly. But as life so often gets in the way, she soon realized several years had passed and the relationships she once valued had taken a back seat. It was at that moment when she came to a very interesting conclusion: “I realized that the contents of that envelope formed a different sort of to-do-list – one made up not of things but of people.”

Take a look at your own life and ask yourself, what’s on my to-do-list?

Our lives seem filled to capacity with a plethora of errands, chores and commitments which often pull us in different directions — robbing us of the more memorable moments life has to offer.

In short we prioritize our lives based upon what we believe to be important and inadvertently forget about the people we always assume will be around when our to-do-lists are finally complete.

It’s funny how our lists seem to focus so much on taking care of responsibilities, yet pay little attention to taking care of the people who provide our lives with meaning and memories.

Imagine turning off the television and tuning out all distractions to interact with that special someone who’s been sitting right next to, yet somehow has been forgotten along life’s journey. Or to regularly afford time to a parent or grandparent as a small token of respect and honor to those who sacrificed so much so that you could have a better life. Aren’t those priorities which deserve a top spot on our to-do-lists?

Lists are a great way to remind yourself to change the oil in your car, pick up bread and milk at the grocery store or your suit at the dry cleaners. But when do we ever remind ourselves to better foster the relationships in our lives? To take time out of our precious schedules to show someone just how valuable they truly are to us.

David Norris once wrote that, “How you spend your time is more important than how you spend your money. Money mistakes can be corrected, but time is gone forever.”

Yoga was the first step in loving and caring for my body

Nicholas Fiorito, Ki Yoga Trainer, Path to Enlightenment Trainer

Whenever I have the good fortune to welcome a new member to one of my classes, inevitably I’m often asked, “What made you start practicing yoga?”

Nicholas Fiorito

I think anyone who’s adopted this physical and spiritual discipline has their own unique story about what inspired them to embrace a yoga discipline - and I’m no different.

In short, I started yoga in order to change my lifestyle. 

I first began taking yoga classes back when I was in graduate school at Harvard Divinity. Interestingly enough, although my studies in philosophy and religion were inspired by my inner desire to find some meaning in an otherwise meaningless life, I didn’t approach yoga with any spiritual aspirations.

Interacting within a self-serving society can be daunting at times. I found myself growing increasingly more frustrated with individuals who often spoke freely of a spiritual existence, but practiced very little of those teachings in their own day to day lives. Soon I found myself living a life of physical extremes to try and combat my outward and inner dissatisfaction with life. 

After years of multiple martial arts programs and literally hours spent pushing myself at the gym, my body had fallen victim to my own persistence. My joints ached regularly and I could no longer go on simple runs or even do menial exercise without finding myself utterly exhausted afterwards.

I had convinced myself that all this physical activity was truly for my overall health, but what I started to understand was that I was using them to deny feelings and emotions I couldn’t process any other way. Unhappy with myself and the life I was leading, I took out all the frustration and negativity on my body, which now was becoming unusable.

Fully embracing yoga and all of its spiritual healing properties was the first step I took to really loving and caring for my body and myself. To say “thank you” and “I love you” were huge steps in my journey to obtaining an inner lifestyle of wellness and happiness.

Many years later, I still find meaning and inspiration from my yoga teachings and hope to continue living a healthy life filled with joy and utter appreciation for the gifts I’ve been bestowed.

Though personal exploration is never easy, maybe it’s time you examine your motivations in life and determine if a change of lifestyle is in order. 

“Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured.”

B.K.S. Iyengar